Gossip Sucker

Just as we were hearing reports that Charlie Sheen already had Megan Levant as his third goddess, we’re now hearing whispers that he actually wants Mila Kunis!

During his Violent Torpedo Of Truth show, he said, “Here’s the good news: My goddesses have already f**king approved her. She’s pre-approved! I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis. If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t, trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment.”

He even has a plan to get the actress lured into the Sober Valley Lodge. He said, “You know what I’m gonna do? I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes. I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t for you to steal in Sherman Oaks.”

Then, he recalled already trying to juggle three women, when he added Brooke Mueller into his porn star filled plans. He added, “I tried f**king three. It doesn’t work. A warlock can manage so many goddesses.”