Nicole Richie is done with Hollywood life, as she’s already told hubby Joel Madden that she wants OUT — and NOW!

A source said, “Nicole has been stressed and worn out since she gave birth to her son Sparrow in September. Joel was working in Australia when Nicole first fell ill, so she was shuttling the kids back and forth to her dad Lionel’s home. She was overwhelmed, and during a phone call, Nicole screamed at Joel, ‘I can’t take this anymore — get me out of Hollywood!’”

Joel realized that the pressures of Hollywood life had become too much for Nicole, so he opted for the change of scenery to shut her up.

The source added, “Nicole is on the rebound now, but her bout with pneumonia was a huge wake-up call. Nicole realizes that both she and her family need a change of pace, schedule and scenery. She feels ditching crazy Hollywood for New York is best for everyone.”

Because, what if 2012 is right, and L.A. caves into the ocean? Then we might be left with some smart celebrities, instead of ones that try to push ugly handbags on us.

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

After Michael Lohan’s suicidal tweets last night, he’s coming to his own defense on his Twitter page. He claimed that his fiance left him and that he had to spend Thanksgiving with his mother. He also said that his family hates him and that he was heading to the Brooklyn Bridge.

After that rant, the tweets disappeared. Now, he’s tweeting again, with several messages that will self-destruct by the time I get through writing this.

Dina lohan tweeted this little gem:

And the “15,000″ comment? That has to be referring to the $15,000 in back child support that she claims he owes. It’s a fight to the finish to see who is the most toxic parent here! It’s anyone’s game!

But wait, there’s more! Neither side has owned up to actually having a Twitter account. Freaking hackers!

David Hasselhoff is back at home after suffering from a seizure and being held on a 5150 hold over the weekend. What a fantastic way to start the holidays for those Hasselhoff children!

Meanwhile, his ex-wife, Pamela Bach, was tossed into jail for her second DUI this year. Oh yeah, and she’s being sued over her first one. Stay classy, you guys.

David’s lawyer said, “David is home now and he’s fine.”

That’s the only statement we get after he went nuts at the hospital?!? They don’t put you on a 5150 hold for nothing, just ask Mischa Barton.

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Apparently some stripper in Las Vegas thought it would be cute to make Kristin Cavallari part of the show.

Kristin said that she was molested by the eager stripper during her last trip to Vegas. She was said to be filming a scene in a “ghetto” strip club, when one of the nudie dancers had plans of her own.

Kristin said, “I got molested by a stripper. Thank God I was wearing pants. She took my legs, spread them, put them up in the air and she blew on my hoo-hoo and was rubbing her nasty boobies in my face. I probably wouldn’t be as upset if she was good looking; she wasn’t cute, let’s just put it that way.”

I guess what happens in Vegas, doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Rumor has it that Courtney Love was hooking up with DJ Qualls.

She reportedly attended a party in the wee hours of the morning, followed by a trip to the strip club with DJ. Doesn’t this boy have any sense? She’s a black widow, DJ, run.

What a way to spend their Thanksgiving…by showing thanks in the form of dollar bills stuffed into some hussy’s garter belt.

The two were said to have hit it off, ending the night making out. A spy said that she was all over him, and dragged him to see the strippers.

Get it together, DJ, you don’t want to be the next Kurt Cobain.

Robert Pattinson is reportedly set to star in a television series based on “The Twilight Saga”.

If the reports are true, Rob stands to net a hefty $1.5 million per episode, if he signs up for the deal. He is reportedly in talks with Summit Entertainment to bring Edward Cullen to TV.

The deal is due to be signed in 2010.

Would you watch?

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

These photos are of Cleveland Indians baseball player Grady Sizemore, reportedly leaked by his ex-girlfriend Playmate Brittany Binger.

He’s freaking yummy, and for those who are questioning if this is actually him, check out the thumbnails showing his face.

Boo-yeah.

[Click thumbnails for a larger view]

HOTNESS!

This just came across the wire and not many details are available as of yet.

According to reports, Tiger Woods has been seriously injured in a car crash near his Florida home.

Breaking News tweeted, “BULLETIN — REPORT: FAMED GOLFER TIGER WOODS SERIOUSLY INJURED AFTER CRASH NEAR FLORIDA HOME.”

I’m hoping that Tiger is okay, keep your fingers crossed!

Stay tuned as details are made available.

Update:

Professional golfer Tiger Woods was seriously injured in a car accident early this morning, the Florida Highway Patrol just reported.

Woods, 33, pulled out of his driveway in the Isleworth community about 2:25 a.m. when he struck a fire hydrant, and then drove into a tree at his neighbor’s property, FHP reported.

Woods was transported to Health Central Hospital in Ocoee in serious condition, FHP said. No other information about his condition has been released.

A Health Central hospital employee said at 2:30 p.m. that Woods was not a patient. A hospital operator would not say if Woods had been treated and released.

FHP said the airbags in Woods’ Cadillac Escalade did not deploy, which means the vehicle was traveling under 33 mph.

Orange County Fire Rescue received the call for aid at 2:28 a.m. Woods was transported from his Windermere-area neighborhood by the hospital’s own ambulance.

FHP did not report the accident until just after 2 p.m. today. The agency said the crash remains under investigation and charges are pending.

Second Update: Tiger’s manager says that he’s been released from the hospital this morning and that he is just fine.

Have you seen that segment on the “Colbert Report” titled, Stephen Colbert’s “Balls”? Well if you don’t have cable, then this is as close as you’re going to get!

He was seen here, right before he went bobsledding with Steven Holcomb on Sunday.

Think he’s stuffing?

Isn’t there something we could do to make sure a woman who already has 14 KIDS doesn’t procreate further? Jesus, I guess she’s got nothing but time to think about getting knocked up for her 15th kid?

Nadya Suleman has said that she’s not ruling out future children, but that she wants to be married first. Still! What kind of man would want to marry a woman who has 14 kids and is planning on more?

Suleman said, “If I wanted to do it the traditional way and get married, that’s like another chapter.”

Can’t we do something about this? She has also commented that her expenses for her 14 kids already run her about $10,000 a month, which makes me wonder where that money is coming from. If that’s state money, then sterilize that heffer already. Fourteen is way too many kids. Stop making babies, your 15 minutes are about up!

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Paris Hilton really wants to know your thoughts on her new purple “Paris Hilton” purse. It looks hideous, can’t you put that ugly thing away?

The bag sports the tag on the outside and is just plain looking. Considering she has more money than you or I will ever see in our lifetimes, you would think she could do better than this.

What do you think? Love it or hate it?

Lady Gaga was on hand at Best Buy last night for the release of her new album, “The Fame Monster”. She ordered $1,000 worth of pizzas for waiting fans and signed copies upon her arrival at the store.

While at the store, she took time out to discuss the inspiration for her line of Heartbeats headphones. She said, “I wore studded leather jackets, me and my friends in New York. Lifestyle, grit, passion and love for music, freedom. These were things I thought about when we were designing. So they really reflect a headphone that I just think is really great looking and represents who I am.”

Her Heartbeats headphones are part of the Beats by Dr. Dr headphone collection from Monster.

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Lindsay Lohan knows that her star’s shininess is fading, so she has to take drastic measures to remain relevant.

Apparently that includes getting naked for a photoshoot and simulating sex in a threesome photoshoot for “Purple” magazine.

I guess she’s got bills to pay. Considering that she’s running up bills at Kitson that she obviously doesn’t want to pay for, I’d fathom a guess that she’s doing this for the cashola. Just an observation.

I hope they pay well!

Image Credit: Bauer-Griffin

We’ve got a video that was just released from “The Insider” from Levi Johnston’s “Playgirl” shoot. And we’ve screencapped some of the shots for your fapping viewing pleasure.

Check out the video:

And the shots:

[Click thumbnails to enlarge]

Are you impressed? I’m not, we were expecting the Johnston to make an appearance and all we got are chest fuzz and skates.

“Playgirl” has just leaked the first photo of many for the shoot they did with Palin impaler, Levi Johnston. It’s SFW, unfortch.

It was also revealed earlier today that Levi’s manager, Tank Jones completely lied to the hordes of chicks (and men) who want to see some Levi junk. “Playgirl” said that there would be no full frontal nudity in the mag for Levi, but said that he was a “consummate professional”.

Sure he was, but we’re still gripin’ at the unnecessary hypin’.

Shame on “Us Weekly” for trying to pick on Geena Davis for gaining a few measly pounds. So what? She stepped out looking like the rest of us do, and got beat down by the reporter on staff.

With this title, “PIC: See Geena Davis’ Surprising New Shape — and Face”, how could they be talking about anything else? She still looks like the same Geena, just enjoying a day out with her family, instead of being dolled up for the red carpet.

Women have a right to live and be comfortable! It’s statements like these that contribute to the eating disorders of young women who are trying to look like their skinny idols.

Even the commenters on Us Weekly’s site were going nuts over this nonsense, and rightfully so.

Here are some snippets:

holy crap … the woman is part of MENSA…..so she is freakin SMART…. was part of the OLYMPICS…..a MODEL and ACTRESS.. a full time MOM .. and they are gonna slam her for a few pounds???? PI $ $ off US…………..she is AMAZING>>>>>>> i think Geena rocks!!!

LOVE Geena…. sounds like witchy (jealous) female reporters wrote this one. REOWWWWW!

If US Mag really just wanted to focus on the fact that her priority now is *GASP* her family and show how happy she is, then they didn’t need to post the before and after pics. They could have just posted the one where she’s happily playing in the park with her children. Maybe they’d like it better if a nanny was playing with her kids while she sits on her skinny butt in a Range Rover. Give me a break.

I couldn’t have said that any better myself! Check this nonsense out here.